


Trust fall

by cascade7



Category: GOT7
Genre: Fluff, M/M, markson forever!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:52:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cascade7/pseuds/cascade7
Summary: when Jackson refused to skydive but finally has to.





	

“Let’s do my hardcarry,” suggested Mark. Well, it wasn’t really a suggestion. The group and production team had talked about it beforehand. Of course they had to. One couldn’t just book some skydiving places out of thin air in Canada no less. Arrangements had to be made, filming equipment had to be readied, things had to be done to ensure that everything was carried out and filmed in safety. In short, it wasn’t a spontaneous suggestion. Everyone knew. 

Jackson, however, was hoping against hope that somehow the plans would fall through. Somehow someone would be able to make it _not_ happen. He had responded to Mark with grins and enthusiasm when the older had spoken about it and it was, after all, something that Jackson himself wanted to do. 

But try as he could, the moment he thought about jumping out of the plan _willingly_ made his stomach sink and his guts twist. He had already screamed his head off during paragliding and that was nowhere near as high as they would be on a plane. It was something he wanted to do but maybe… sometime later? Sometime when it wasn’t so risky? 

… sometime later when he could gather the courage to do it. 

When Mark said the dreaded word ‘skydiving’, Jackson’s eyes flickered, eyeing the older for a brief moment to see that Mark was dead serious in his enthusiasm and smile. Jackson, on the other hand, could not muster up anything of his usual energy to respond. No squeals of delight, no cheering, nothing. He could barely keep himself from hanging his head. It was a miracle that during filming, Jinyoung and Youngjae had refused to do skydiving as well! Barely containing his gratitude, Jackson climbed into Jinyoung’s lap to escape the pressure that he seemed to be sensing from Mark – the pressure to change his mind and do the jump. Jackson just couldn’t. 

Someone yelled cut. Filming ended. GoPros were handed back to the staff and the boys made their way to the dressing room. It had been a great fanmeet and the adrenaline from that was dying off. Jackson had a great desire to tuck himself into bed and sleep in a weak attempt to combat the jetlag especially with filming the next day but speaking of filming… Jackson glanced at Mark who had climbed into one of the two vans. Mark hadn’t spoken to Jackson since filming ended, the older didn’t even acknowledge him when they were side by side in the changing room, and Jackson knew the reason all too well. Of course Jackson had always said he wanted to skydive and he did. But not now, thought Jackson . In an attempt to talk to Mark, Jackson made sure that when he climbed into the van, he could take the seat next to the oldest one in the group but Mark had already plugged in his earplugs and drawn the cap he wore low over his eyes, effectively shutting out Jackson and the world, his body language holding up a 'don't touch me' sign in large neon letters. 

So Jackson just sat there, trying to muster up the guts to talk to Mark ever so often which Jinyoung, who was sitting in the row in front of them, found quite amusing. Every once in a while Jinyoung would catch sight of Jackson’s hand rising, almost touching Mark’s arm or leg but always never succeeding. 

“You can just talk to him, you know. He doesn’t bite,” Jinyoung commented over his shoulder in a low voice which provoked a glare from the one he was speaking to. 

“Maybe he just doesn’t bite you,” responded Jackson.

“As if he’s bitten you before,” chuckled Jinyoung, his eye wrinkles showing even in the low light in the van. 

Jackson actually thought about the question for a while. Had Mark ever bitten him? “You know, actually, there was this one time – ” but he was prevented from finishing his sentence when Mark shifted in his seat. Jackson bit his tongue, waiting for backlash in case Mark had been listening but Mark simply settled down again, resting his head in an angle that was better for his neck. Whatever story Jackson was about to recount to Jinyoung went out the window, the glumness splayed over his features again. Being ignored by Mark was tough and a downcast pout formed on Jackson’s lips. Jinyoung was about to tease Jackson further but then he could see from Jackson’s face that this was a serious matter so he held back. 

“Just try to talk,” suggested Jinyoung, turning around to look out the window at the passing lights again. 

Jackson did talk but it happened right after breakfast as they boys returned to their rooms to chage before they separated to head to the respective filming locations. Mark had been playing hard to get the entire morning, always seemingly busy when Jackson was in the vicinity. When Jackson spotted Mark at the buffet line and rushed to queue behind the older, Mark just walked off to get some coffee, essentially abandoning his place next to Jackson. When Jackson had taken his food and basically stalked Mark to see where the older would sit, Mark deliberately chose a table that had only one seat empty so that he wouldn't have to share a table with the younger. It was maddening.

It was when they had arrived at their respective hotel floor after that Jackson was desperate enough to finally reach out and grab the older’s arm to psychically prevent him from walking off with Bambam and Yugyeom who were enthusiastically miming the poses they planned to do mid-drop. 

“Mark,” said Jackson, his fingers tightening around the crook of Mark’s elbow, “Can we talk?”

The look Mark gave him drained any courage Jackson had mustered in that spontaneous moment. The cold and distant look in the older’s eyes quelled him more than any scathing or hurtful remark their PD had ever thrown at him. Jackson gulped, determined enough not to let go, and waited for Mark to respond but Mark kept silent, only looking at the younger as if he had other better places to be. Jackson tried again, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve always said I want to skydive and we’ve talked about it and stuff but –”

“Yeah you did,” interrupted Mark, roughly tugging his arm away from Jackson’s grasp. “You talked about it a lot. And now?” Mark let the silence hang in the air, a silence laden with unspoken accusations. It was a tangible weight emanating from Mark upon Jackson’s shoulders and chest, making him feel like the worst human being in the world because he was disappointing one of the most important people to him in the world, if not the most important. 

Jackson’s gaze gradually fell to his slippered feet because he could no longer look Mark in the eye while silence prevailed. It was only after seeing Jackson's defeated stance that Mark released the barrage of frustration that had been whirling in his mind since the day before. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Jackson," Mark said. "You wanna know the reason why I even asked for skydiving when it’s such a crazy idea? Why I asked for something so darn expensive? Something that no one in their right mind would ask because it’s so ridiculous?” 

As Mark’s questions increased in agitation, Jackson could only bite his lower lip to keep himself from instantly pleading with the older. Jackson wanted Mark to forgive him, he wanted to fling his arms around Mark and not let go until Mark agreed to do so. Basically all Jackson wanted to do just then was to beg Mark not to be angry. Yet, judging by the tone of voice and agitation that poured out of Mark's being, Jackson felt helpless and truly believed at that point that Mark did not want to have anything to do with him, perhaps ever again. It's been ages since Mark got angry like this, especially towards Jackson. It made the younger feel... lost. Like he was no longer the Jackson that Mark gently called 'Gaga' at times when the older could just sense that Jackson needed a reminder of who he was as a person behind the 'wild and sexy' facade.

‘Come on,’ thought Jackson, ‘you’re already a coward for not skydiving. You can’t be a coward in facing Mark either.’ Gulping, Jackson parted his lips with difficulty to apologise again but his eyes met Mark’s before he could get a word out and the blaze of accusation he saw rendered him mute. 

“I asked because you said you wanted to do it," Mark paused to let the weight of the sentence sink in, for Jackson to understand why he was so darn upset about the way things turned out. "I asked because of the many times you’ve said it on camera and the random times you talked about it when we were by ourselves,” said Mark, hands balling into fists. He could feel his hold of his temper slipping. He had been trying to deal with the disappointment the entire time and had congratulated himself for not losing it by screaming at Jackson. Indeed, he would have succeeded purely by avoiding Jackson like a plague until the younger actually confronted him – and he lost it. 

“I asked because of you,” Mark hissed with such a frigid finality in his tone as he turned on his heel that Jackson’s previously rendered mute state was forgotten.

“Wait, Mark, please,” cried Jackson, not caring that they were beginning to make enough of a ruckus to upset guests staying on the floor. He grasped at Mark’s sleeve, fingers twisting the material in earnest, grounding the older to the spot. “It’s just- I – you don’t – it’s because I’m scared,” stammered Jackson, words tumbling over themselves as Jackson tried to explain the mix of guilt, shame and regret he couldn’t make heads and tails of. 

Mark had to scoff in disbelief. Of course Jackson would be scared. Mark was scared too. Heck, it's jumping out of an aeroplane and plummeting to the ground as fast as gravity wanted to take you for crying out loud. If that was all Jackson had to say, Mark wasn't going to listen to such weak excuses any longer. He tugged at his sleeve, intending to release it from Jackson's grasp but the younger wasn't giving in. Normally he would find Jackson's persistence admirable but it was only adding to his anger and if Jackson didn't let go soon, Mark was sure that he would do Jackson bodily harm. Mark wrenched his body away from Jackson, turned sharply on his heels, and was just about to storm off when Jackson practically yelled some words that made Mark hesitate.

"I just don't trust them!" Cried Jackson who rushed to face Mark the minute he saw the older pause. Jackson trained his wide eyes on the older, beseeching him to listen just a little longer. All Jackson got as a sign that the older had consented to do just that was a very slight quirk of one eyebrow but that was enough. "What I mean is I don't trust the guys running the thing. What if they didn't check their equipment properly? What if a line of the parachute breaks? What if the parachute isn't folded properly and won't inflate? What if they had a fight with their wife when they left the house? What if they had too much to drink? What if-?"

"So it’s about… trust?" asked Mark, raising his hand in a gesture for Jackson to stop speaking, effectively stemming Jackson's wild imagination. 

The eyes of the younger that had been growing wider and wider after each question blinked, befuddled, before Jackson nodded in admission. “Yeah,” Jackson admitted, which might seem to others to not be a big deal but to Jackson, it was something he struggled with. Some may observe that this particular explanation of being unable to trust others was contrary to Jackson’s character. After all, Jackson was a guy that fans believed loved everyone sincerely, wearing his heart on his sleeve and trusting those he worked with to care for him in the same way he cared for them. Yet here he was, saying he didn’t trust the men who were trained to run the skydiving company. “This is just… different,” said Jackson, struggling to explain. “If, like for example, if someone makes a mistake, like – Okay. It’s like this.” Jackson took a deep breath, “I trust you. I trust our members. I trust our families. I trust our friends. I trust them because I know they, like you, truly care for me. But to those guys jumping out of the plane, it’s just business. I’m just a statistic, another chunk of their paycheck. If it’s someone I’m working with on a show, whatever happens, if there’s a mistake, I’ll bear it. I’ll survive. I’ll just work harder. In skydiving, a mistake means certain death. So,” Jackson’s voice died to a whisper, “so I can’t.” Jackson squeezed his eyes shut then, head bowed, “I’m so sorry, Mark.”

Mark responded to Jackson’s apology with one of the tightest hugs he had ever given Jackson, feeling truly apologetic for having made things so difficult for the younger. Mark knew that every word Jackson had spoken came from his heart and it cost Jackson a lot to bare his innermost feelings. It rarely happened, usually only in the most private of places like the time Mark had woken up in the middle of the night to find Jackson crying into his pillow because the younger was worried that he was weighing down the group. Mark knew that the reason for Jackson’s tendency to be reserved with his deepest thoughts and emotions was not because he was concerned about his image but because the younger thought of such things as weaknesses to overcome – in this case, it was Jackson’s inability to trust others. 

“Don’t say sorry, please,” Mark murmured into Jackson’s ear, “you’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing at all. I’m the one who should say sorry… for not realising how you really felt.”

Jackson, who had wound his arms around Mark’s lithe body, stepped back to look into the older’s eyes. The warmth that greeted him soothed his anxiousness and Jackson knew that everything was right again between him and Mark. At that moment, Bambam’s voice came drifting down the corridor, saying that it was time for them to leave cause they had to go to the car rental agency. 

“Coming!” called Mark who then turned back to look at Jackson, giving the younger’s shoulders a squeeze before he had to go. “Have a nice time shopping,” wished Mark with a smile. 

Jackson nodded enthusiastically. “You too! Have a great time falling through the atmosphere,” grinned Jackson but the smile vanished to be followed by the words, 

“I’m still sorry I can’t skydive with you,” said Jackson, biting his lower lip. 

“Next time,” said Mark, “when you’re ready, we’ll do it together.”

 

* * *

 

“You said you’d wait until I was ready!” cried Jackson, face pale as his hands gripped the edge of his seat on the plane so hard that his fingertips were white. 

Mark had to lean over from his own seat in order for Jackson to hear him over the loud whirr of the plane’s engines, “I did wait! Four years!” Mark had waited, at first, but Jackson evaded every attempt of his to get the younger to skydive. After two years, Mark decided to take matters into his own hands by obtaining a license to skydive in tandem. Unknown to Jackson, Mark underwent training and tests, passing with flying colours, and had had the license for almost a year. He only finally managed to get Jackson suited up and strapped into the plane thanks to quite a lot of effort from the other members who gave their full support to Mark in this endeavour from the moment he asked for their help. Yugyeom and Jaebum may or may not have used their combined strength and muscle to pin Jackson to the ground. Jinyoung and Bambam may or may not have trapped Jackson in the skydiving suit with the nimblest of fingers. Youngjae may or may not have tricked Jackson into coming to this location in the first place. 

“But I’m still _not_ ready!” insisted Jackson, his voice pitched so high that he was practically squeaking. 

“And I’m done waiting!” Mark answered with a laugh. At a thumb’s up from the captain, Mark unbuckled his seat and hastened to wear his gear. A glance at Jackson told him that the younger was petrified, eyes screwed shut and lips pressed together in a thin line probably to stop himself from yelling his head off. Checking and double checking he had everything, he stumbled over to where Jackson still sat. Bending down, he yelled into Jackson’s ear, “Come on! It’s time!”

At that statement, Jackson shook his head violently in denial. “I can’t do this! I can’t do this! Land the plane, please!” The last word came out as a shrill scream but all Jackson got in response was another laugh from Mark who reached his arms around Jackson to unbuckle the younger from his seat. 

“Yes you can! Come on!” said Mark, yanking Jackson to his feet and catching Jackson just in time before he fell over, body rigid and stiff with fear. Mark began attaching Jackson to his suit, tugging on every strap multiple times to make sure everything was in place but every tug brought out another whimper from Jackson.

“Mark, Mark, please, I can’t do this,” said Jackson who was literally shaking at this point. 

“You’ll love it! I promise!” assured Mark, shuffling their bodies closer to the plane’s open door. The closer they got to the edge, the louder Jackson protesting screams became. In a bid to calm Jackson down, Mark wrapped his arms around Jackson’s body, squeezing him tight to remind the younger that Mark was right there with him.  
Screaming right into Jackson’s ear, Mark said, “Jackson, remember the time in Canada? You couldn’t dive because you didn’t trust the others. Do you remember?” Jackson nodded, hoping that Mark would change his mind and release Jackson from this torture if he were obedient. “But you trust me, right?” 

Mark’s question penetrated Jackson’s terrified state. The overwhelming yes to the question quietened his heart, mind and soul. Of course he trusted Mark. He trusted Mark when they had to do complicated martial art tricking together. He trusted Mark when the older told him that he would always support him no matter what. He trusted Mark when Got7 disbanded and everyone pursued their separate careers. He trusted Mark when Mark had confessed that he loved Jackson and wanted to start a relationship together. He trusted Mark when he had answered yes and had kissed the older with utter abandon. He trusted Mark when he gave every bit of himself to the other in the most secret and precious of heated moments spent between tossed sheets as well as in the happiest of sweet and tender moments when they experienced epiphany after epiphany of how much they loved each other. Jackson trusted Mark as they went through the challenges of deepening a relationship that came with storms as well as brightest sunshine. Jackson trusted Mark through it all.

“You trust me, don’t you? Gaga” asked Mark again, giving Jackson another tender squeeze.

“Yes, yes I do,” answered Jackson, grasping Mark’s hands which the older had wound round his abdomen. 

“So, here – we – GO!”

 

They landed safely and in a heap because Jackson had lost all strength from his legs but there was a breathtaking grin plastered on Jackson’s face. 

“That was bloodly amazing!” cried Jackson, his demeanour miles away from the scared Jackson who had been cowering in fear on the plane. 

“See, I knew you’d like it!” Mark responded, hugging the younger before hastily undoing the straps that bound Jackson to him. He needed to do this now, he had to. That was the plan after all. He shuffled around so that he could face Jackson who was still seated on the ground, his legs outstretched in a child-like pose that made Mark want to squeal and coo about how cute his boyfriend was. 

Mark cleared his throat and repositioned his legs so that only one knee was on the ground. Seeing this, a curious sense of disbelief coloured Jackson’s delirious smile, his shining eyes now filled with questions, whether or not to believe it was what he wanted to think it was.

“Jackson Wang Ka Yee,” said Mark with utter solemnity. He was doing all he could to stop himself from chewing on his lips and inner cheek so that he could ask the one question he had been psyching himself up for the past year, “will you marry me?”

It was exactly what Jackson had hoped the gesture to mean.

“YES!” came the answer, that one word containing the greatest level of certainty, joy and bliss that Jackson had ever expressed in his entire life. It was strange that one word could mean more to him than the gold medal he had won in the Asian Youth games, more than the time Got7 had won first place, more than any of the awards he had accumulated in his career. It was one word but it held within it a promise of life spent together with the one individual who accepted all his flaws and loved him for it. 

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> this just popped into my head after Hard Carry episode 8 when jackson refused to skydive.
> 
> hope you didn't mind this tiny fluff and thank you for reading it!


End file.
